








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 873 | 30% |
| Smokes | 859 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 489 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 650 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,087 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 57% | 90 |
| #2 | JustSlaY1n | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | Pepergu | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | gil kinda drip | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Never Lucky | 53% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Rotativos_. | 52% | 54 |
| #7 | Master Perv3rt | 49% | 94 |
| #8 | Nep | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | N1ght13 | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | NN | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 23 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Master Perv3rt | 13 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Rotativos_. | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | NN | 5 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | Pepergu | 3 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 279 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | JustSlaY1n | 213 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Never Lucky | 152 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Master Perv3rt | 140 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Rotativos_. | 137 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | +3.33 | 73 | 47 |
| #2 | JustSlaY1n | +2.27 | 56 | 56 |
| #3 | NN | +1.81 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | Pepergu | +1.05 | 71 | 50 |
| #5 | Roach | +0.71 | 58 | 49 |





