








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Wingman | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2970 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4211 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3740 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3763 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $889,916 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustSlaY1n | 52% | 173 |
| #2 | Golden | 51% | 169 |
| #3 | Nep | 50% | 169 |
| #4 | NN | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | Master Perv3rt | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustSlaY1n | 52% | 173 |
| #2 | Golden | 51% | 169 |
| #3 | Nep | 50% | 169 |
| #4 | NN | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | Master Perv3rt | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 29 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Nep | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | NN | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | JustSlaY1n | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Master Perv3rt | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 530 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | JustSlaY1n | 432 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Nep | 254 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | NN | 144 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Master Perv3rt | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NN | +2.67 | 58 | 48 |
| #2 | Golden | +2.03 | 66 | 55 |
| #3 | JustSlaY1n | +1.29 | 49 | 56 |
| #4 | gil kinda drip | +0.56 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | Nep | -0.97 | 61 | 42 |





