










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7411 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5998 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5154 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4254 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,689 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXFaNaTic | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Reyshion | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | ksN.x) | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | moondog | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | €nRag3 | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | €nRag3 | 50% | 36 |
| #6 | Jahnejj | 49% | 338 |
| #7 | Baumi | 49% | 45 |
| #8 | KASTEN | 48% | 349 |
| #9 | Rody | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KASTEN | 19 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Jahnejj | 18 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Baumi | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Reyshion | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | moondog | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KASTEN | 594 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | moondog | 367 | 0.41 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jahnejj | 315 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | Baumi | 198 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Reyshion | 153 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reyshion | +1.87 | 68 | 68 |
| #2 | ksN.x) | +1.21 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Jahnejj | +1.07 | 73 | 51 |
| #4 | xXFaNaTic | +0.48 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | Bloody | -0.14 | 52 | 67 |





