








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2679 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3640 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6468 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 5432 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,370 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hundi wau wau | 60% | 60 |
| #2 | DEAGLE WUTZ | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | logisch23 | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | hochkant on the summit | 53% | 320 |
| #5 | Solide | 51% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DEAGLE WUTZ | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | logisch23 | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | hochkant on the summit | 53% | 320 |
| #5 | Solide | 51% | 253 |
| #6 | Weekend Warrior | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solide | 29 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | hochkant on the summit | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Hundi wau wau | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Weekend Warrior | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | DEAGLE WUTZ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hochkant on the summit | 504 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | Solide | 344 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | DEAGLE WUTZ | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hundi wau wau | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Weekend Warrior | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEAGLE WUTZ | +2.01 | 65 | 66 |
| #2 | hochkant on the summit | +1.69 | 64 | 72 |
| #3 | Hundi wau wau | +0.52 | 63 | 52 |
| #4 | Weekend Warrior | +0.23 | 66 | 59 |
| #5 | Solide | +0.16 | 61 | 63 |





