








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 272 matches | ||
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3024 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3947 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3371 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4395 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,382,058 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 762 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHelplessCow | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | PorkRoll | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | Flame † | 62% | 197 |
| #4 | bopin azuna | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | R3XY | 60% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | byte | 59% | 29 |
| #7 | Get Racc'd | 54% | 90 |
| #8 | ffalcon | 52% | 82 |
| #9 | Senpizzy | 51% | 68 |
| #10 | m1r | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ffalcon | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Flame † | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | R3XY | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Senpizzy | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | byte | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flame † | 1393 | 0.33 | 40 min |
| #2 | R3XY | 565 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | ffalcon | 411 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #4 | Get Racc'd | 270 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Senpizzy | 255 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHelplessCow | +2.31 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | R3XY | +1.94 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | Flame † | +0.88 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Get Racc'd | +0.84 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | m1r | +0.79 | 70 | 69 |





