








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1974 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1450 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1431 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,905 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kusen | 58% | 95 |
| #2 | Mr Chedda | 57% | 180 |
| #3 | Oswald Cobblepot | 54% | 214 |
| #4 | Mr Backwood | 49% | 55 |
| #5 | jakijake | 48% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakijake | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Oswald Cobblepot | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Kusen | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Mr Chedda | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Mr Backwood | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakijake | 654 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | Oswald Cobblepot | 382 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mr Chedda | 339 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kusen | 145 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr Backwood | 126 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lintybby | +2.16 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | Kusen | +0.30 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | Oswald Cobblepot | -0.33 | 58 | 52 |
| #4 | boby | -0.38 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | sam100 | -0.58 | 63 | 65 |





