








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 815 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1303 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1424 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1451 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,191 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuNoir | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | uzu is süß | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Niholas | 66% | 47 |
| #4 | rayn | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Bjarkebille | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | xXProjectXx | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | propit3 | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | S15T3Mgrrrrr | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | ſnlıɐuԀɐɹʇʎlǝ⅄ | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | RoLexX_HiMSeLF | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niholas | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | ſnlıɐuԀɐɹʇʎlǝ⅄ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | uzu is süß | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | xXProjectXx | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | RuNoir | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niholas | 257 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | uzu is süß | 81 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | RoLexX_HiMSeLF | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | rayn | 53 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | RuNoir | 49 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uzu is süß | +2.56 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Niholas | +1.22 | 79 | 80 |
| #3 | [F5] fennx | +0.96 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | ſnlıɐuԀɐɹʇʎlǝ⅄ | +0.65 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | Bjarkebille | +0.47 | 67 | 64 |





