








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 550 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 201 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5048 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4511 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7699 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4685 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,823,315 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atikin | 52% | 44 |
| #2 | barci | 52% | 279 |
| #3 | lemontek | 51% | 438 |
| #4 | Trut3x | 51% | 152 |
| #5 | ✭ŚynTeχ94✭ | 51% | 393 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Trut3x | 51% | 152 |
| #5 | ✭ŚynTeχ94✭ | 51% | 393 |
| #6 | Moe Lester | 49% | 253 |
| #7 | KetaKalle | 49% | 104 |
| #8 | jacek?! | 49% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | 20 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ✭ŚynTeχ94✭ | 18 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | lemontek | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | barci | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | jacek?! | 9 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemontek | 1430 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #2 | jacek?! | 1215 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #3 | ✭ŚynTeχ94✭ | 896 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #4 | Trut3x | 895 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #5 | Moe Lester | 818 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benji | +1.91 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | atikin | +1.03 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | lemontek | +0.21 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | jacek?! | +0.02 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | barci | -0.71 | 81 | 54 |





