








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 442 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3102 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4207 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2856 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1902 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,610,473 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizz | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | Benji | 52% | 279 |
| #3 | Trut3x | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | KetaKalle | 49% | 85 |
| #5 | lemontek | 49% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KetaKalle | 49% | 85 |
| #5 | lemontek | 49% | 177 |
| #6 | ✭ŚynTeχ94✭ | 48% | 192 |
| #7 | jacek?! | 48% | 165 |
| #8 | Moe Lester | 42% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benji | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Moe Lester | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | ✭ŚynTeχ94✭ | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | jacek?! | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Blizz | 6 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacek?! | 841 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | lemontek | 632 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Benji | 599 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | ✭ŚynTeχ94✭ | 461 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | Moe Lester | 460 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizz | +4.76 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Benji | +2.08 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | lemontek | +0.65 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | jacek?! | +0.04 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | barci | -0.45 | 81 | 54 |





