










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1409 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1186 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 289 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1029 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,769 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 846 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vacancy | 56% | 61 |
| #2 | big titties | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | most normal fyp | 51% | 204 |
| #4 | wowcake | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | peler | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | most normal fyp | 39 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | home. | 22 | 0.0228 |
| #3 | chxppa | 16 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | peler | 15 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | vacancy | 6 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | most normal fyp | 429 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | peler | 407 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | vacancy | 365 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #4 | chxppa | 232 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | home. | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big titties | +2.57 | 69 | 51 |
| #2 | most normal fyp | +1.85 | 64 | 43 |
| #3 | peler | +1.70 | 85 | 48 |
| #4 | home. | +1.55 | 65 | 44 |
| #5 | vacancy | +0.95 | 55 | 47 |





