








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2496 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2330 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1473 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1886 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,618 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rawl | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | DrillGaze | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | richie dagger | 57% | 51 |
| #4 | mastermind | 54% | 104 |
| #5 | 住口 | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 😅 | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | vacancy | 50% | 82 |
| #9 | ThreaD | 48% | 29 |
| #10 | Iphone sex | 46% | 82 |
| #11 | most normal fyp | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iphone sex | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | vacancy | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | richie dagger | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | most normal fyp | 4 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | mastermind | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vacancy | 380 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | mastermind | 308 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | DrillGaze | 180 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #4 | Iphone sex | 152 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | ThreaD | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dolbaeb | +2.74 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | DrillGaze | +2.59 | 81 | 82 |
| #3 | 住口 | +2.19 | 88 | 44 |
| #4 | 😅 | +1.90 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | peler | +1.00 | 85 | 48 |





