










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 31% |
| Smokes | 437 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 349 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 261 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,592 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 715 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Post Nut Claritin D | 43% | 61 |
| #2 | MrWorldWide | 43% | 40 |
| #3 | MrktMkr | 38% | 61 |
| #4 | TrashBoat | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | KZiggy | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MrWorldWide | 43% | 40 |
| #3 | MrktMkr | 38% | 61 |
| #4 | TrashBoat | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | KZiggy | 37% | 51 |
| #6 | Mikeymo | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikeymo | 7 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | MrktMkr | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Post Nut Claritin D | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | MrWorldWide | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Post Nut Claritin D | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mikeymo | 88 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | TrashBoat | 79 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | MrWorldWide | 26 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | MrktMkr | 14 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrWorldWide | +1.22 | 71 | 22 |
| #2 | TrashBoat | +1.20 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | Post Nut Claritin D | +1.02 | 57 | 52 |
| #4 | Mikeymo | +0.40 | 34 | 51 |
| #5 | GunGunThe1 | +0.07 | 33 | 25 |





