










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 43 | 41% |
| Smokes | 27 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 17 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,036 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Post Nut Claritin D | 44% | 41 |
| #2 | MrWorldWide | 42% | 52 |
| #3 | GunGunThe1 | 38% | 61 |
| #4 | KZiggy | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | johnny2times | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MrWorldWide | 42% | 52 |
| #3 | GunGunThe1 | 38% | 61 |
| #4 | KZiggy | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | johnny2times | 29% | 14 |
| #6 | Mikeymo | 26% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikeymo | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | GunGunThe1 | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | MrWorldWide | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Post Nut Claritin D | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikeymo | 194 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Post Nut Claritin D | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | MrWorldWide | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | GunGunThe1 | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | johnny2times | 21 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrWorldWide | +1.76 | 72 | 22 |
| #2 | Post Nut Claritin D | +0.82 | 60 | 57 |
| #3 | johnny2times | +0.17 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | Mikeymo | -0.03 | 32 | 52 |
| #5 | GunGunThe1 | -1.31 | 31 | 26 |





