








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3330 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2092 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1580 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,939 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔ NGS- | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | ♛ GLK- | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | ♔ Tico | 43% | 51 |
| #4 | Gerrit Beel | 36% | 45 |
| #5 | devoo | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔ NGS- | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | ♛ GLK- | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | ♔ Tico | 43% | 51 |
| #4 | Gerrit Beel | 36% | 45 |
| #5 | devoo | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ GLK- | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ♔ NGS- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ♔ Tico | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ GLK- | 133 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | ♔ NGS- | 124 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | ♔ Tico | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gerrit Beel | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | devoo | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔ NGS- | +1.18 | 59 | 58 |
| #2 | devoo | +0.51 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | ♛ GLK- | +0.43 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | ♔ Tico | +0.41 | 63 | 71 |
| #5 | Irani DADA | +0.10 | 63 | 69 |





