








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 948 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 498 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1550 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1233 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2311 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2331 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,829 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hadden afspraak jonguh | 49% | 70 |
| #2 | vTeQz | 47% | 57 |
| #3 | ♔ Tico | 46% | 163 |
| #4 | devoo | 44% | 136 |
| #5 | ♔ NGS- | 38% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♔ Tico | 46% | 163 |
| #4 | devoo | 44% | 136 |
| #5 | ♔ NGS- | 38% | 50 |
| #6 | Irani DADA | 36% | 45 |
| #7 | ♛ GLK- | 35% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ GLK- | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | vTeQz | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | ♔ Tico | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | devoo | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | ♔ NGS- | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔ Tico | 347 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Irani DADA | 292 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #3 | vTeQz | 289 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #4 | ♛ GLK- | 255 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | devoo | 180 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hadden afspraak jonguh | +1.65 | 78 | 43 |
| #2 | Gerrit Beel | +0.26 | 73 | 33 |
| #3 | devoo | +0.11 | 81 | 43 |
| #4 | ♔ NGS- | -0.22 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | ♔ Tico | -0.74 | 60 | 67 |





