








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2120 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3045 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2042 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2931 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $811,705 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hadden afspraak jonguh | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Gerrit Beel | 46% | 163 |
| #3 | devoo | 43% | 76 |
| #4 | Irani DADA | 43% | 51 |
| #5 | ♔ NGS- | 43% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gerrit Beel | 46% | 163 |
| #3 | devoo | 43% | 76 |
| #4 | Irani DADA | 43% | 51 |
| #5 | ♔ NGS- | 43% | 65 |
| #6 | ♛ GLK- | 40% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ GLK- | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Irani DADA | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ♔ NGS- | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Gerrit Beel | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | devoo | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irani DADA | 304 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♛ GLK- | 220 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gerrit Beel | 138 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ♔ NGS- | 121 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | devoo | 101 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hadden afspraak jonguh | +1.64 | 80 | 31 |
| #2 | devoo | +0.34 | 81 | 44 |
| #3 | ♔ NGS- | +0.17 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | ♔ Tico | +0.13 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | Gerrit Beel | -0.06 | 70 | 32 |





