








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 979 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2542 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4228 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2772 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2121 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,064,766 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S7VEN乡 | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | RODBUSTER | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | Duderoni | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | [ILF] JonBork | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | Tank | 45% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tank | 24 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | detox spaceout | 19 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | 𝕯eTox freakbob | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | RODBUSTER | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | [ILF] JonBork | 7 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tank | 288 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | detox spaceout | 232 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | [ILF] JonBork | 213 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | RODBUSTER | 196 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | 𝕯eTox freakbob | 158 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S7VEN乡 | +8.57 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | [ILF] BigCorn | +2.30 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | RODBUSTER | -0.08 | 50 | 53 |
| #4 | 𝕯eTox freakbob | -0.44 | 44 | 34 |
| #5 | [ILF] JonBork | -0.69 | 46 | 55 |





