








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3322 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5276 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4170 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3764 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,402,747 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MK | Wayferr | 88% | 32 |
| #2 | B1O0M | 68% | 66 |
| #3 | Stolencookie | 67% | 33 |
| #4 | D3VIL | 64% | 42 |
| #5 | ExplainTheKids™ | 61% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | GMILL | 59% | 37 |
| #7 | tSr | 56% | 36 |
| #8 | Dion | 51% | 57 |
| #9 | Fig | 46% | 105 |
| #10 | BigJackOnPcVAC | 43% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fig | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ExplainTheKids™ | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | tSr | 6 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | D3VIL | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | BigJackOnPcVAC | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fig | 156 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | tSr | 150 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | BigJackOnPcVAC | 136 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | ExplainTheKids™ | 110 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | MK | Wayferr | 106 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VIL | +2.60 | 75 | 39 |
| #2 | tSr | +2.51 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Fig | +1.88 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | Stolencookie | +1.76 | 74 | 50 |
| #5 | GMILL | +1.39 | 53 | 62 |





