








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3404 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1565 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2794 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1794 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,338,748 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1035 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X | 52% | 209 |
| #2 | Koiramies | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | N-S | 50% | 102 |
| #4 | Kenta Kofot | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | πLINGπ | 48% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X | 52% | 209 |
| #2 | Koiramies | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | N-S | 50% | 102 |
| #4 | Kenta Kofot | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | πLINGπ | 48% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πLINGπ | 16 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | X | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | N-S | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Kenta Kofot | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X | 347 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | N-S | 205 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | πLINGπ | 193 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Koiramies | 170 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kenta Kofot | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koiramies | +2.29 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Hmmm | +1.56 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | N-S | +0.58 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | X | +0.17 | 51 | 53 |
| #5 | πLINGπ | -0.73 | 52 | 47 |





