








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1957 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1565 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 561 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,098 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L8 | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | elmon tosi kova flikki | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | xRizz_Lordx | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | guglesrunner | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Kalju-Immu | 56% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalju-Immu | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Spatula- | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | xRizz_Lordx | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | L8 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalju-Immu | 177 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Spatula- | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | elmon tosi kova flikki | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | guglesrunner | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | xRizz_Lordx | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spatula- | +2.62 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | elmon tosi kova flikki | +2.09 | 86 | 46 |
| #3 | ♥︎𝕂𝕠𝕒𝕤𝕗♥ | +1.60 | 90 | 64 |
| #4 | Kalju-Immu | +1.53 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | L8 | +0.91 | 74 | 46 |





