








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2118 | 12% |
| Smokes | 5831 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5292 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3953 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,933,100 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yobama | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | nikkonikkoniiiinikkonikkonii | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | pucci | 49% | 91 |
| #4 | guglesrunner | 48% | 199 |
| #5 | thunderass10 | 48% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Veikka | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | Spatula- | 44% | 102 |
| #9 | Señor Doc | 42% | 121 |
| #10 | ресторан | 33% | 27 |
| #11 | Edi | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guglesrunner | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Señor Doc | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Spatula- | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | pucci | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Kalju-Immu | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guglesrunner | 763 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | Señor Doc | 311 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Kalju-Immu | 245 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | thunderass10 | 242 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Spatula- | 234 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spatula- | +2.87 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | nikkonikkoniiiinikkonikkonii | +2.87 | 69 | 38 |
| #3 | Veikka | +1.81 | 90 | 59 |
| #4 | Kalju-Immu | +1.72 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | thunderass10 | +0.53 | 74 | 73 |





