








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4522 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3281 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3541 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2753 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,369,724 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaRz | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | :O | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Doc | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Chrispy | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Kwagga | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaRz | 423 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | :O | 278 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Bates | 207 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Chrispy | 167 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | SIR SALAMANDER III | 162 | 0.20 | 5 min |





