








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1740 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1902 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1997 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,243,237 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ed | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Chrispy | 54% | 133 |
| #3 | :O | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | MaRz | 51% | 172 |
| #5 | dobby | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaRz | 17 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Chrispy | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Doc | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | :O | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ed | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaRz | 333 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sash1mi 🐈 | 233 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Chrispy | 112 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | :O | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ed | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ed | +1.99 | 64 | 59 |
| #2 | :O | +1.17 | 51 | 60 |
| #3 | Bates | +0.43 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | Chrispy | +0.17 | 20 | 60 |
| #5 | MaRz | +0.06 | 50 | 60 |





