








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1480 | 9% |
| Smokes | 4028 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5540 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5402 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,685,847 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaRz | 29 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Doc | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Bates | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Sash1mi 🐈 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | dobby | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaRz | 839 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | Sash1mi 🐈 | 403 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Bates | 304 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | :O | 238 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Doc | 191 | 0.07 | 5 min |





