








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 190 | 10% |
| Smokes | 415 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 980 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 270 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,635 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chlo | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Laurence | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | hergs | 72% | 32 |
| #4 | dash | 66% | 41 |
| #5 | sluth | 63% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | GamerGirlFart | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | Comf | 47% | 110 |
| #10 | lulzxdd | 46% | 39 |
| #11 | NotAGiraffe | 38% | 21 |
| #12 | zuggie24 | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dash | 23 | 0.0282 |
| #2 | Chlo | 8 | 0.0213 |
| #3 | lulzxdd | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | PETRMODE | 6 | 0.0226 |
| #5 | GamerGirlFart | 4 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dash | 191 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | sluth | 153 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chlo | 74 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | lulzxdd | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | erik :] | 72 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chlo | +11.02 | 89 | 80 |
| #2 | dash | +7.63 | 88 | 74 |
| #3 | lulzxdd | +5.73 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | erik :] | +3.83 | 71 | 54 |
| #5 | Laurence | +3.55 | 68 | 56 |





