








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 871 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4172 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4253 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2160 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3424 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,684 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walt wertzel | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | sluth | 65% | 68 |
| #3 | hergs | 64% | 55 |
| #4 | Reefleschmeek | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Laurence | 59% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | GamerGirlFart | 49% | 65 |
| #15 | Xilla | 49% | 43 |
| #16 | Durandal | 48% | 21 |
| #17 | NotAGiraffe | 41% | 70 |
| #18 | Gamer | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erik :] | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | PETRMODE | 9 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | lulzxdd | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Laurence | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | GamerGirlFart | 7 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lulzxdd | 347 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Laurence | 299 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | aimproject | 298 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #4 | sluth | 220 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | NotAGiraffe | 184 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dash | +5.89 | 87 | 74 |
| #2 | lulzxdd | +3.24 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | Reefleschmeek | +1.89 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | aimproject | +0.15 | 78 | 80 |
| #5 | erik :] | -0.14 | 66 | 50 |





