








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1334 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3287 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1775 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3590 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $687,551 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 627 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roomy | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Kazin Jane | 42% | 170 |
| #3 | iKudaRaven_ | 40% | 166 |
| #4 | Na1x- | 40% | 53 |
| #5 | El Pendejo Asustador | 39% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazin Jane | 34 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | El Pendejo Asustador | 29 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | iKudaRaven_ | 20 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Na1x- | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | guido | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pendejo Asustador | 729 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | iKudaRaven_ | 378 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kazin Jane | 190 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Na1x- | 169 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | roomy | 35 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roomy | +5.48 | 56 | 45 |
| #2 | Kazin Jane | +3.49 | 53 | 33 |
| #3 | Lefita Caliente [Vivi] | +2.56 | 33 | 37 |
| #4 | Na1x- | -0.83 | 31 | 40 |
| #5 | guido | -1.16 | 36 | 31 |





