








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 771 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4583 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4125 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3768 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4024 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,921,997 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solace | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | T3SLA model s owner | 55% | 143 |
| #3 | Evan D | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | 10dp | 52% | 121 |
| #5 | spampost | 50% | 724 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | T3SLA model s owner | 55% | 143 |
| #3 | Evan D | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | 10dp | 52% | 121 |
| #5 | spampost | 50% | 724 |
| #6 | Turbulent Terry | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spampost | 29 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | 10dp | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | solace | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | T3SLA model s owner | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Evan D | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spampost | 4102 | 0.27 | 106 min |
| #2 | 10dp | 353 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | solace | 254 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | T3SLA model s owner | 68 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Evan D | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evan D | +1.84 | 74 | 32 |
| #2 | solace | +1.63 | 68 | 43 |
| #3 | T3SLA model s owner | +1.02 | 60 | 33 |
| #4 | spampost | +0.99 | 52 | 67 |
| #5 | Task Manager | -0.23 | 51 | 41 |





