








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 27% |
| Smokes | 207 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 71 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 197 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,328 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3SLA model s owner | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | solace | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | spampost | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | Task Manager | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | 10dp | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3SLA model s owner | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | solace | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | spampost | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | Task Manager | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | 10dp | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spampost | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | 10dp | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | solace | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Task Manager | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spampost | 391 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #2 | 10dp | 169 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Task Manager | 147 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | solace | 84 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | T3SLA model s owner | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solace | +3.48 | 71 | 35 |
| #2 | spampost | +2.56 | 47 | 67 |
| #3 | T3SLA model s owner | +1.37 | 54 | 23 |
| #4 | Task Manager | +0.95 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | 10dp | -1.22 | 67 | 35 |





