








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1317 | 44% |
| Smokes | 407 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 957 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 323 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $518,941 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoJaMo | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | El Thorbo | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Minky PhD | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | Pr1sM PhD | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | nichtdeintyp | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Minky PhD | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | Pr1sM PhD | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | nichtdeintyp | 45% | 33 |
| #6 | WoJaMo | 44% | 61 |
| #7 | Pitzi321 | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nichtdeintyp | 8 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Pr1sM PhD | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Minky PhD | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | WoJaMo | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Pitzi321 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minky PhD | 155 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Pitzi321 | 135 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | WoJaMo | 87 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | nichtdeintyp | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | El Thorbo | 44 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V5 Dreamer | +2.03 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | WoJaMo | +1.50 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | Minky PhD | +1.50 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Pitzi321 | -0.08 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | WoJaMo | -0.75 | 57 | 58 |





