








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 445 | 25% |
| Smokes | 541 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 543 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 267 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,310 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoJaMo | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | .spokE | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | V5 Dreamer | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | D4v1D | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | nichtdeintyp | 45% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nichtdeintyp | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Pitzi321 | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | .spokE | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | V5 Dreamer | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | D4v1D | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pitzi321 | 243 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | nichtdeintyp | 116 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | V5 Dreamer | 92 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | D4v1D | 58 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | .spokE | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .spokE | +2.93 | 62 | 60 |
| #2 | Minky PhD | +2.50 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | V5 Dreamer | +2.06 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | D4v1D | +1.49 | 71 | 77 |
| #5 | Pitzi321 | +0.06 | 61 | 65 |





