








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 260 | 29% |
| Smokes | 202 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 234 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 188 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,819 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crisiz | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Cynical | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | n0ah | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Freecant | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | Matrix | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Matrix | 58% | 26 |
| #6 | cloud | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | ✪ DonaldsonLH | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Silu | 50% | 2 |
| #9 | pigeon | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matrix | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | cloud | 3 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | pigeon | 2 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Freecant | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | crisiz | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matrix | 134 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | n0ah | 93 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | Freecant | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | crisiz | 53 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ DonaldsonLH | 37 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matrix | +3.11 | 84 | 78 |
| #2 | Freecant | +1.80 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Silu | +1.42 | 40 | 67 |
| #4 | cloud | +0.00 | 88 | 43 |
| #5 | crisiz | -0.39 | 67 | 68 |





