








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1010 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1003 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 979 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,202,842 of utility $305 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amazon Prime | 69% | 48 |
| #2 | Drew | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | smidgenpidgeon4215 | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | IM COMPELTELTELY MASSIVE | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | Lucidity | 54% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucidity | 276 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | TyU | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | IM COMPELTELTELY MASSIVE | 89 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Amazon Prime | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | smidgenpidgeon4215 | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRYWALL EATER | +2.81 | 68 | 40 |
| #2 | smidgenpidgeon4215 | +2.17 | 64 | 38 |
| #3 | Lucidity | +0.66 | 71 | 39 |
| #4 | TyU | +0.37 | 50 | 45 |
| #5 | IM COMPELTELTELY MASSIVE | -1.05 | 37 | 42 |





