








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2006 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 131 matches | ||
| Wingman | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9130 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5695 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6546 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6722 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,381,395 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3013 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfonso | 82% | 187 |
| #2 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | 60% | 168 |
| #3 | puff1g #RIP-Niko | 57% | 419 |
| #4 | Hoppin1G | 49% | 459 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfonso | 82% | 187 |
| #2 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | 60% | 168 |
| #3 | puff1g #RIP-Niko | 57% | 419 |
| #4 | Hoppin1G | 49% | 459 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoppin1G | 26 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | puff1g #RIP-Niko | 23 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Alfonso | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | 10 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puff1g #RIP-Niko | 1914 | 0.24 | 51 min |
| #2 | Hoppin1G | 1008 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #3 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | 839 | 0.25 | 25 min |
| #4 | Alfonso | 557 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfonso | +12.40 | 100 | 66 |
| #2 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | +4.18 | 78 | 76 |
| #3 | psagett | +1.03 | 87 | 55 |
| #4 | Hoppin1G | -0.11 | 85 | 53 |
| #5 | puff1g #RIP-Niko | -0.73 | 71 | 70 |





