








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 158 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9196 | 43% |
| Smokes | 4091 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5250 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3026 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,156,158 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfonso | 77% | 207 |
| #2 | psagett | 57% | 419 |
| #3 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | 57% | 90 |
| #4 | Hoppin1G | 45% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfonso | 77% | 207 |
| #2 | psagett | 57% | 419 |
| #3 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | 57% | 90 |
| #4 | Hoppin1G | 45% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psagett | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Hoppin1G | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Alfonso | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psagett | 976 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | Alfonso | 628 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | 497 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #4 | Hoppin1G | 451 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfonso | +11.13 | 100 | 66 |
| #2 | Bubz.exe ✪ csgoatse.com | +2.78 | 75 | 77 |
| #3 | psagett | +0.11 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | puff1g #RIP-Niko | -0.46 | 72 | 71 |
| #5 | Hoppin1G | -1.01 | 83 | 55 |





