








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 796 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3955 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5503 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6516 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4279 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,676,435 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clash | 54% | 94 |
| #2 | Célia | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Sneakeez | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | Dazzeule | 51% | 214 |
| #5 | MaPomme | 49% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MaPomme | 49% | 82 |
| #6 | Pyrowane | 48% | 52 |
| #7 | NeedBleed | 46% | 148 |
| #8 | RoAwl | 46% | 94 |
| #9 | The Magic Mike | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clash | 26 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Dazzeule | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | RoAwl | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | MaPomme | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Pyrowane | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clash | 429 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | NeedBleed | 161 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | The Magic Mike | 149 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dazzeule | 126 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | RoAwl | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clash | +1.76 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | KIWI_CELESTE | +1.57 | 57 | 72 |
| #3 | The Magic Mike | +0.87 | 55 | 65 |
| #4 | NeedBleed | +0.32 | 51 | 53 |
| #5 | RoAwl | -0.88 | 64 | 36 |





