








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2512 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1959 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 878 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1314 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,826 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordTar | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | Mooooo | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Captain AwesomeZ | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | ✪Schärommmツ | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | NÄFLY LFT | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣ Hans183wurst | 14 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | NÄFLY LFT | 6 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | maze | 6 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | afraidwhiterhino | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | LordTar | 5 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣ Hans183wurst | 353 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | LordTar | 131 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | NÄFLY LFT | 104 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Terra | 43 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wodkahontas | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 Paul Anton | +5.19 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | LordTar | +4.38 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | NÄFLY LFT | +3.34 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Fishfe | +2.77 | 62 | 48 |
| #5 | Mooooo | +1.79 | 60 | 40 |





