








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 326 | 16% |
| Smokes | 736 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 628 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 394 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,570 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishfe | 49% | 35 |
| #2 | πππππππ Paul Anton | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | afraidwhiterhino | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Mejon1 | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | 4balu2 | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Terra | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | Phoenix | 32% | 66 |
| #11 | β£ Hans183wurst | 31% | 13 |
| #12 | Natirum-Chlorid-Mann | 29% | 7 |
| #13 | Mooooo | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishfe | 13 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | Terra | 6 | 0.0270 |
| #3 | βͺSchΓ€rommmγ | 5 | 0.0158 |
| #4 | Phoenix | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | β£ Hans183wurst | 4 | 0.0149 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πππππππ Paul Anton | 139 | 0.41 | 4 min |
| #2 | β£ Hans183wurst | 101 | 0.38 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fishfe | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wodkahontas | 58 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | βͺSchΓ€rommmγ | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πππππππ Paul Anton | +8.41 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | βͺSchΓ€rommmγ | +4.51 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | β£ Hans183wurst | +2.97 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | Fishfe | +2.67 | 76 | 50 |
| #5 | Natirum-Chlorid-Mann | +0.97 | 91 | 61 |





