








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 947 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4380 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3705 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3665 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4295 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,594 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ rice | 68% | 57 |
| #2 | Zen | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | YoYoTime | 65% | 79 |
| #4 | JFNasty | 55% | 83 |
| #5 | K3F7Y | 55% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zen | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | YoYoTime | 65% | 79 |
| #4 | JFNasty | 55% | 83 |
| #5 | K3F7Y | 55% | 195 |
| #6 | El Pinko | 48% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pinko | 45 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | JFNasty | 32 | 0.0188 |
| #3 | K3F7Y | 22 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | ✪ rice | 13 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Zen | 7 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pinko | 1378 | 0.33 | 36 min |
| #2 | K3F7Y | 694 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | ✪ rice | 505 | 0.43 | 17 min |
| #4 | YoYoTime | 330 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | JFNasty | 255 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ rice | +5.13 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | xoma | +2.99 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | YoYoTime | +2.23 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | K3F7Y | +1.39 | 70 | 71 |
| #5 | JFNasty | -1.21 | 54 | 57 |





