








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1265 | 32% |
| Smokes | 899 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 692 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1116 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,635 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Rickards | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | tripleman | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | mistermyter | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Nurse | 50% | 121 |
| #5 | Alexander Alexanderov | 48% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nurse | 50% | 121 |
| #5 | Alexander Alexanderov | 48% | 147 |
| #6 | MeatMeat1x | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | slayer | 44% | 25 |
| #8 | grnchakra | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alexander Alexanderov | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Nurse | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | grnchakra | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | tripleman | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | slayer | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alexander Alexanderov | 613 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Nurse | 165 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | tripleman | 159 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | mistermyter | 108 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mr Rickards | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mistermyter | +2.23 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Nurse | +1.16 | 40 | 60 |
| #3 | Alexander Alexanderov | +0.99 | 64 | 73 |
| #4 | Turtle | -0.96 | 44 | 48 |
| #5 | slayer | -1.32 | 63 | 54 |





