








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 10% |
| Smokes | 608 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 873 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,900 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nurse | 46% | 26 |
| #2 | Alexander Alexanderov | 41% | 37 |
| #3 | Turtle | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nurse | 46% | 26 |
| #2 | Alexander Alexanderov | 41% | 37 |
| #3 | Turtle | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turtle | 13 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Alexander Alexanderov | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Nurse | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alexander Alexanderov | 175 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Turtle | 116 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nurse | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nurse | +3.29 | 53 | 62 |
| #2 | Alexander Alexanderov | +2.23 | 64 | 73 |
| #3 | Turtle | -1.56 | 41 | 50 |
| #4 | grnchakra | -4.06 | 10 | 36 |





