








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 994 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 421 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4218 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4165 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4572 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2811 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,757,607 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1ngu | 53% | 45 |
| #2 | 4hrenz | 53% | 98 |
| #3 | Urteil | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | JanVerteiltMehrBretterAlsObi | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Bjoern1701 | 43% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 4hrenz | 53% | 98 |
| #3 | Urteil | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | JanVerteiltMehrBretterAlsObi | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Bjoern1701 | 43% | 82 |
| #6 | Maggolein | 40% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1ngu | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | 4hrenz | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Bjoern1701 | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Maggolein | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Urteil | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4hrenz | 127 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bjoern1701 | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | JanVerteiltMehrBretterAlsObi | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Maggolein | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | p1ngu | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4hrenz | +2.39 | 51 | 53 |
| #2 | p1ngu | +2.20 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | Bjoern1701 | +0.89 | 39 | 48 |
| #4 | JanVerteiltMehrBretterAlsObi | +0.31 | 32 | 50 |
| #5 | July | -1.42 | 40 | 65 |





