








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2427 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3050 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5593 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5311 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,115,452 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hood | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | ketboen | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | Nander | 49% | 296 |
| #4 | Mike Arendt | 46% | 313 |
| #5 | Maggolein | 44% | 314 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hood | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | ketboen | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | Nander | 49% | 296 |
| #4 | Mike Arendt | 46% | 313 |
| #5 | Maggolein | 44% | 314 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maggolein | 26 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Mike Arendt | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Nander | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ketboen | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Hood | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nander | 717 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Mike Arendt | 444 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Maggolein | 118 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | ketboen | 99 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hood | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketboen | +3.40 | 53 | 69 |
| #2 | Hood | +3.28 | 61 | 50 |
| #3 | Nander | +2.76 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | Mike Arendt | -0.81 | 28 | 53 |
| #5 | Maggolein | -1.39 | 23 | 31 |





