








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2077 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1709 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 877 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1000 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,343,728 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atCanis | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | 💙❤ Zena ❤💙 | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | @n4c0nd4 | 54% | 74 |
| #4 | Rusty_Frannie | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | L0neWolf4k | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💙❤ Zena ❤💙 | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Heart_Under_Blade | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | NOVA✪ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Stifler's Mom (. )( . ) | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | atCanis | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heart_Under_Blade | 152 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | @n4c0nd4 | 130 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jolly Jammer | 122 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | RedOctober | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | 💙❤ Zena ❤💙 | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atCanis | +8.57 | 64 | 44 |
| #2 | Jolly Jammer | +5.08 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | L0neWolf4k | +4.00 | 62 | 36 |
| #4 | NOVA✪ | +1.26 | 70 | 48 |
| #5 | @n4c0nd4 | +0.15 | 40 | 55 |





