








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 730 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1952 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1814 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1499 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2202 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $921,671 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSXIce | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | pr1me | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | iXoN | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | KRM | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Klani | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b m u R | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | ム | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | gerzy | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | KRM | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Sascha | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ム | 296 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Max | 160 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | gerzy | 143 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | turb0_Penguin | 141 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Aesop | 141 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puffy:[v] | +2.09 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | Max | +2.09 | 95 | 65 |
| #3 | pr1me | +1.95 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | ム | +1.74 | 84 | 75 |
| #5 | JSXIce | +1.54 | 75 | 52 |





