








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1077 | 38% |
| Smokes | 450 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 688 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 615 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,777 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAMAS MISSLE | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | JSXIce | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | iXoN | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | Hulk998 | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Sascha | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | yuuki | 58% | 33 |
| #7 | puffy:[v] | 57% | 28 |
| #8 | Yuki | 53% | 32 |
| #9 | gunna^ | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | turb0_Penguin | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sascha | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | yuuki | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Yuki | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | puffy:[v] | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | turb0_Penguin | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuuki | 153 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sascha | 132 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | puffy:[v] | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yuki | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | JSXIce | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk998 | +5.09 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | iXoN | +4.03 | 75 | 46 |
| #3 | puffy:[v] | +2.39 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | JSXIce | +2.21 | 79 | 53 |
| #5 | yuuki | +1.98 | 85 | 53 |





