








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1738 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2105 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1949 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,575 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nightmarealic3 | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Hoodini | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Sven | 55% | 154 |
| #4 | M1neGuys | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | Doug Judy | 50% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hoodini | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Sven | 55% | 154 |
| #4 | M1neGuys | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | Doug Judy | 50% | 227 |
| #6 | Fex | 49% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug Judy | 21 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Sven | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Hoodini | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | M1neGuys | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | nightmarealic3 | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug Judy | 424 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Sven | 289 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | M1neGuys | 96 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hoodini | 57 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fex | 19 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoodini | +5.11 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | arroz | +1.53 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | Doug Judy | +1.29 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | Sven | +1.16 | 76 | 39 |
| #5 | Fex | -2.36 | 37 | 18 |





