










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1144 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1373 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1599 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2339 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,826 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turkey Hater | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Rendys | 70% | 27 |
| #3 | ![]() rari tung | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Zuboš | 55% | 194 |
| #5 | kl€mßa | 54% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kl€mßa | 54% | 81 |
| #6 | KaFire | 53% | 192 |
| #7 | ShiftyJ_Jr | 50% | 66 |
| #8 | LuKEK | 47% | 59 |
| #9 | Ledový Srdce & Ledový Pocity | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaFire | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Zuboš | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ledový Srdce & Ledový Pocity | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Rendys | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | LuKEK | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuboš | 1035 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | kl€mßa | 221 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | KaFire | 211 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | ShiftyJ_Jr | 66 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | LuKEK | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuboš | +4.08 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | LuKEK | +1.73 | 87 | 43 |
| #3 | Ledový Srdce & Ledový Pocity | +0.16 | 52 | 42 |
| #4 | kl€mßa | +0.03 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | Rendys | -0.23 | 62 | 66 |






