








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 246 | 16% |
| Smokes | 534 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 463 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 342 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,990 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kl€mßa | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | ShiftyJ_Jr | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Zuboš | 74% | 23 |
| #4 | :((( | 70% | 27 |
| #5 | rari tung | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zuboš | 74% | 23 |
| #4 | :((( | 70% | 27 |
| #5 | rari tung | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | KaFire | 63% | 19 |
| #7 | LuKEK | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaFire | 4 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | :((( | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuboš | 101 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | :((( | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | kl€mßa | 21 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | KaFire | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | LuKEK | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuboš | +5.31 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | LuKEK | +4.91 | 91 | 36 |
| #3 | ShiftyJ_Jr | +1.99 | 50 | 62 |
| #4 | KaFire | -0.01 | 49 | 42 |
| #5 | Rendys | -0.18 | 66 | 66 |





