








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 97 | 5% |
| Smokes | 773 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 477 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,768 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongo Peter | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Mesnil | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | SeRgEnT_KC | 40% | 212 |
| #4 | -SANTA-Julemanden | 39% | 84 |
| #5 | annaaa | 38% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeRgEnT_KC | 25 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Mesnil | 15 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | Nostro | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | -SANTA-Julemanden | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | JLM | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeRgEnT_KC | 612 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | JLM | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mesnil | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | -SANTA-Julemanden | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nostro | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mesnil | +5.01 | 61 | 49 |
| #2 | Bongo Peter | +4.04 | 68 | 49 |
| #3 | JLM | +3.63 | 62 | 46 |
| #4 | SeRgEnT_KC | +3.52 | 36 | 71 |
| #5 | -SANTA-Julemanden | -1.78 | 15 | 32 |





